Back when I was in my corporate job we were encouraged to take a ‘Defensive Driving’ course that involved performing a variety of manoeuvres on a race track. eeekk!
In one of the exercises we were instructed to speed up and then slam on the brakes and avoid hitting a particular safety cone. Despite our best efforts, almost every one of us hit the cone. Oops!
We tried it again a second time but rather than focusing on the cone, we were instructed to look for a safe place to steer the car. Same distance, same speed, same brakes – just a different intention and focus.
And it worked! Like magic! We were stunned. The instructor explained that if something or someone jumps out in front of you, the worst thing you can do is look straight at it when you’re trying to avoid it. You need to focus on where you want to go instead of where you don’t want to go.
This is something I’ve been thinking about a lot recently as I read May Cause Miracles and Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway. When you focus on your fears, you’ll quite often smash into them. And if you’re not focusing on where you really want to go, how can you expect to get there?
There’s no better time to plan a magical new year than right now. As you reflect on your experiences over the past year, what do you want to do, see, hear, taste and experience next year? And above all, how do you want to feel?
In other words, how do you set new year goals with soul? Goals that will light you up and inspire you?
In Danielle LaPorte’s book, The Desire Map, she flips traditional goal setting on its head. Danielle believes it’s not actually the goal we want to achieve but a feeling. She explains it well in this interview with Marie Forleo:
(Or click HERE to watch this video in YouTube).
Don’t you just love this? So if our true desires are just to feel a certain way, doesn’t this kind of soul-goal setting make sense?
So how do you put this baby into motion?
Get clear on your core desired feelings for 2014. Take some time to really brainstorm. Doodle. Daydream. Imagine just how rich your life would be if you felt that way.
What words and emotions come up for you? Do you want to feel confident, playful, sexy, clear-minded, light, carefree, strong, energised, glowing, calm, cheerful, excited, feminine, or brave?
Or perhaps balanced, glamorous, sensual, liberated, joyful, nourished, relaxed, whole, spirited, or empowered?
Write down what you need to do next year in order to feel that way. What could you schedule into your diary now to start bringing those feelings to life?
The best thing about soul-based goals is that you have the power to make yourself feel that way every single day. Get creative, gorgeous. Crack that beautiful heart of yours wide open and really listen to your true desires.
Need some examples? Two of my core desired feelings for next year are…
What that means to me: Creativity. Fun. Spontaneity. Mischief. Carefree.
In order to feel playful in 2014 I will: Choose love over fear. Trust. Believe. Tell jokes. Send my friends funny messages. Tickle Dom. Make fun demo videos. Create fun, easy recipes. Schedule time off-line. Watch funny movies. Go in search of adventure. Try new things. Take beautiful photos. Throw themed dinner parties. Paint my toe nails. Create. Share. Skip. Giggle. Dance.
What that means to me: Sparkly. Healthy. Alive. Glowing. Self care. Connection. Bliss.
In order to feel radiant in 2014 I will: Stretch before bed. Go to bed earlier. Sleep. Stretch at sunrise. Juice. Run. Dance. Offer help. Eat plenty of fresh, whole foods. Feel sunshine on my skin. Splash around at the beach. Picnic in the park. Keep a gratitude journal. Meditate. Write. Create. Eat dinner by candlelight. Choose quality over quantity. Phone friends and family more. Listen. Practice random acts of kindness.
So what are your core desired feelings for 2014, beautiful? What will you schedule to make you feel that way? I made you this 2014 planner to help you to map it all out. Click to download it, print it out, and create away! Here’s to your best year yet! xx
Is one of your goals to become healthier in the new year? Come join me for The Sparkle Project! This guided group program is filled to the brim with fun-sheets, videos, resources, shopping lists, meal planners, affirmations and recipes, all wrapped up with loving support from a community of like-minded women. The magic happens on January 6th. Register HERE.
EvaDecember 27, 2013 at 5:47 pm (9 years ago)
3 seconds before this post arrived in my email, I signed up for the 30 Day Vegan Challenge- just the inspirational help that I will help to get through the month! I know, I know, I shouldn’t find it so hard but veganism is a wagon that I’ve fallen off many many times! Oh well, I keep on trying 😉
* Vegan Sparkles *December 28, 2013 at 5:57 pm (9 years ago)
Oh fantastic, Eva! Here’s to beautiful inspiration, new years and new beginnings! 🙂 xx
BecDecember 27, 2013 at 6:02 pm (9 years ago)
I read this and instantly felt awesome!!! I can’t wait to start the sparkle project and become the very best version of me that I can. Thanks Bex, you always inspire positivity 🙂 ps. I’d also like to be a vegan by the end of the year!!!
* Vegan Sparkles *December 28, 2013 at 5:59 pm (9 years ago)
Oh I’m so happy to hear it helped, Bec, and I can’t wait to get started with you on The Sparkle Project! Keep an eye on your inbox for a little extra surprise this coming Monday! 🙂 xx
Claire // This is LifebloodDecember 28, 2013 at 8:12 pm (9 years ago)
Beautiful babe! This is exactly what I am doing tonight. Desire mapping, intention setting and getting crystal clear on what I want to do, have and experience in 2014. Connecting with you this year has been a real highlight, I look forward to more fun (bring on the playfulness!) in 2014 gorgeous xx
* Vegan Sparkles *December 29, 2013 at 9:48 am (9 years ago)
Oh right back at you, gorgeous girl! I’m so happy to have met you this year, bella, and can’t wait to see what mischief and magic we unfold in 2014! 🙂 xx
Katie (A Fork in Hand)December 31, 2013 at 12:46 am (9 years ago)
A very inspiring post, Bex! I learned the “focus on where you want to go” lesson in an interesting way, too. The first time my friends took me out mountain biking they overestimated my abilities a bit and took me on a pretty difficult trail. I was so worried about falling off the rocky cliff we were riding along that, well, I ended up falling off the cliff! Fortunately I didn’t roll very far but I definitely learned my lesson that day!
* Vegan Sparkles *January 3, 2014 at 3:14 pm (9 years ago)
Ooooh, ouch, you poor thing! Sometimes these lessons are painful, huh? But so good for us to learn. Glad to hear there wasn’t too much damage and that you’re ok. 🙂 x
AnnaJanuary 9, 2014 at 7:31 pm (9 years ago)
I’m taking a defensive driving course from Driver Skills International http://www.driverskills.com.au/defensive-driver-training/ and I guess that’s my exactly my first lesson..speed up, brake and avoid hitting the cone!
But every time I tried it, I ended up hitting it because I too always focused on the cone.
You’ve mentioned it very right that it all starts with where you want to go instead of focusing on where you don’t want to go!
* Vegan Sparkles *January 15, 2014 at 10:43 am (9 years ago)
Such a powerful message, Anna. 🙂 x