Man, it took me a long time to learn to love and accept my body. For years I tried to make it do exactly what I wanted it to do. When I was at college I wanted it to dance all night and study all day, while existing solely on sandwiches, chocolate and cider. When I joined the workforce I wanted it to work 10-hour days while I fed it less than 1200 calories a day and partied all weekend. I denied it rest and pushed it beyond its limits with empty promises like guarana, sugar, caffeine and ‘energy’ drinks. I got upset and spoke hatefully to it when it put on weight, and punished it by starving it for days at a time.

In my relationship with my body I was cruel, controlling, demanding, ungrateful and downright disrespectful.

Learning to love and accept your body is a process – one that starts with kindness, compassion and understanding. Just like any relationship, it takes time, trust and mutual respect. Play your cards right and eventually it’ll grow into deep self-love more rewarding than you ever imagined. But girl, you gotta treat it right…
 

Kiss Goodbye to Dieting

Aaahh, the diet trap. If you’ve ever counted calories, chugged meal-replacement shakes or attempted radical detoxes, you know by now that diets don’t work. You might lose weight quickly but sooner or later that weight will come creeping back, bringing with it a whole heap of self-loathing and feelings of failure. Yep, I’ve been there too (and spent my fair share of time in diet hell and struggling with perfectionism) and it ain’t pretty.

The good news is that by choosing to nourish your body with wholesome foods instead, you’ll not only feel better (about everything), your skin will glow, your eyes will sparkle and you’ll bounce around with sustained energy before enjoying deep, peaceful sleep. Hallelujah!
 

Stop With the Negativity!

It’s hard to love and accept our bodies when we feed ourselves an endless stream of negative thoughts all day. What stories does your inner chatterbox feed you, beautiful? Stop and listen. Now is that how you would speak to your best friend or partner?

Negative thoughts are just as toxic to the body as junk food. What’s worse is that they usually have nothing to do with reality, and are instead just a mixture of fear, ego, and stories from our past. They don’t serve you, gorgeous. Time to let ’em go.
 

Get Clear on How You Want to Feel

Rather than fixating on your external appearance, set an intention for how you want to feel. You might believe that all you want in this world is a flatter stomach, but what if we go deeper than that? If you stop and think about it you might discover that you really just want to feel a certain way. Maybe you want to feel playful, feminine, liberated, sexy, or confident. Or maybe it’s sassy, strong, relaxed, or content.

Use your desired feelings to create a mood board to remind and inspire you when you find yourself feeling down or thinking negatively about your body. It’ll help you make decisions that align you with the way you truly want to feel.
 

Count Your Blessings

Focus on all the good things in your life. Keep a gratitude journal or join a movement like the 365 Grateful Project to keep your thoughts focused on everything you have to be happy and grateful for. Positive thoughts have a powerful effect on your health and body – plus they magically attract more of the good stuff. Win-win!
 

Harness the Power of Affirmations

Fake it til you make it, baby! Rebuilding your relationship with your body takes time. Affirmations like: “I’m becoming healthier every day” or “I love my body!” can help. Remember to make your affirmations positive, set them in the present moment, and keep them short and sweet.

Repetition is key, so put them where you can see them. Set hourly reminders in your phone, stick post-it notes to your bathroom mirror, or write them in your journal. You might feel silly at first but you might also fall head-over-heels in love with the incredible difference they make to your health and happiness.
 

Tune In

Instead of hating on your body, let it guide you. Start really listening to it. What’s it telling you about how much rest you need, or which forms of movement suit you best?

When you eat, do so mindfully. Notice how you feel during the meal and afterwards. Take stock of your usual eating patterns and note which ones arise out of boredom or habit, or when you feel frustrated, scared or overwhelmed. When you find yourself mindlessly reaching for snacks, stop for a moment. Breathe. Drink a glass of water and tune in. Are you really hungry or is something deeper going on?
 

Start Living Today

When we’re unhappy with our bodies we often put off doing things that will make us feel good because we’re embarrassed or believe we’re not worthy. In doing so, we get stuck in a never-ending cycle of not being good enough.

Recognise that no matter how you feel about your body, you are worth it, beautiful. Cherish every day as a gift and get creative! It doesn’t take a lot of effort to boost your self-esteem and enrich your life. What can you do to bring more quality into every single day?

Could you spend more time outdoors in the sunshine, away from TV and technology? Fill a vase with beautiful flowers? Organise a picnic lunch date with a friend? Go for a long walk on the beach? Light aromatherapy candles and take a bubble bath? Wear your favourite perfume, dress and heels – just because it’s Tuesday?

Adequate self-care is essential in rebuilding your relationship with your body. Show it some appreciation, baby! Cherish your temple, replenish your energy, and invite bliss back into your life.

Your body will love you for it.   ♥

The post Learning to Love Your Body appeared first on Vegan Sparkles with Rebecca Weller.

Just a few short years ago, I was 8kgs heavier and I hated it.  I hated my ‘jelly belly’ when I sat down.  I hated my bulging hips pushing my skirt waistlines ever higher.

Every morning when I weighed myself, I’d sigh and think: “Today I’ll be good.”

On the train to work I’d think at least 20 negative things about my body.  I’d count the upcoming social events in my mind and calculate how much weight I could lose before each one – if I was ‘good’.

By the time I reached my desk I’d think at least 20 negative things about my lack of willpower, and another 20 negative things about everything I believed was standing between me and that slimmer body I craved.

By mid-morning I’d be mentally exhausted and cranky.  When colleagues offered cake, I’d accept it to make myself ‘feel better’.  I’d scoff it quickly and guiltily.  Then I’d slink back to my desk and think ‘Oh well, I’ve messed it up now.  I’ve been bad.  I’ll just start again tomorrow.’  I’d beat up on myself for being weak.  I’d think at least another thousand negative thoughts about myself and my body for the rest of the day, skip the gym, eat crap, drink wine, go to bed unhappy… only to wake up and do it all over again.

Sound familiar?  Maybe even, dare I say… a little crazy?

Let’s talk about the concept of ‘failure’ for a moment. Have you ever started a diet motivated by a desire to look good? Who hasn’t, right? (You can read my diet story here). You’re a woman and it’s your birthright to feel beautiful.

But here’s the thing.  When you’re externally motivated, you open the door to comparison, jealousy and judgement. The fear monsters creep in with their negative self talk and push you right into that junk food or unhealthy habits you’re trying to avoid. Then you beat up on yourself for being weak and wonder why on Earth you sabotage yourself… but perhaps it’s just that your motivation wasn’t serving you.

What if your only intention was to love yourself more?

What if your success was only measured by your ability to stay conscious in every moment and make the right choices for yourself? What if the typical diet mentality: ‘I can’t eat that because I’m scared that I’m not thin (or good) enough’ transformed into self-love: ‘I choose the healthier option because it makes me feel amazing.’?

How empowering would that difference be? And wouldn’t all of our other concerns (like weight loss, looking good and feeling confident in our skin) just naturally fall into place, when our only intention was to make choices that align with what’s truly best for us?

One of the reasons I’m so passionate about what I do is because I know that the crazy ‘perfection’ rollercoaster never leads to the healthy, happy lifestyle we want.

Health is not a ‘destination’ we ever arrive at.  There is no magic pill.

Cultivating a healthy lifestyle is just an ongoing process of making the best decision for ourselves in every moment of every day. It’s not all or nothing, black or white, or being completely ‘good’ or ‘bad’. It’s not about perfection. It’s just about replacing foods and behaviours that don’t serve us with ones that do. Slowly, one at a time, and with compassion.  It’s about being our own best friend.

Above all, it’s about being kind to ourselves.  All the freaking time.

What can you do to be kind to yourself right now, beautiful? Maybe round up a friend and go for a walk in the park? Stretch? Go to yoga class? Refill that empty water bottle on your desk? Go buy some gorgeously fresh ingredients and make yourself a nourishing dinner? Find a cozy spot somewhere to just sit and daydream? Journal? Program affirmations into your phone to pop-up during the day? Watch something inspiring – like a TED talk or a documentary about the triumph of the human spirit? Light aromatherapy candles and take a long soak in a bubble bath? Turn the TV off and go to bed early?
And what can you do tomorrow? And the next day? And the day after that?

No-one is perfect. I’m certainly not. Sometimes I still eat potato chips and drink champagne, but mostly I choose to eat like this because I love the way it makes me feel.  I love the way creativity and energy flow when I treat my body to high quality food. I love being liberated from the ‘all or nothing’ trap.

Because, I promise you, beautiful – perfection, deprivation and punishment don’t live in that happy, healthy lifestyle you crave.

Only love does.

Ready to join me on a 6-week, love-soaked, journey of transformation?  The new and improved Sparkle Project is HERE!  Click here to learn more and jump on board. x

The post The Perfection Myth appeared first on Vegan Sparkles with Rebecca Weller.