Have you ever found yourself a few weeks into a new health kick, feeling frustrated that you’re doing everything ‘right’ but still don’t seem to be losing any weight… so you scoff an entire cake?

Or maybe a few months into a healthy new habit – and juuuust when you’re getting the hang of it – you do something destructive… and you’re not really sure why?

Today’s video is for you, gorgeous.
 

Can’t view this video? Click here to watch on YouTube.

 

Tools to get you Unstuck

Meditation

Breathe. Surrender. Let go of the results. Remember this is a journey, not a short-term fix.
 

Emotional Freedom Technique

If you’ve never tried EFT (or Tapping), check out this video or this one to get started. Then, the next time you find yourself elbow-deep in the cookie jar, sit down, take a deep breath, and try tapping to explore what’s really going on. How does your body feel in this moment? Is it fearful? Where is that fear coming from, beautiful?
 

Affirmations

Maybe your fear of success stems from a place of feeling like you’re not good enough. Affirmations can be a powerful way to reframe your fears and foster a new mindset.
Try:
‘My body is becoming stronger and more graceful every day’
or
‘I love being free of my old, destructive habits’
or
‘I love the person I am becoming’.
 

Journalling

Write it out, baby! Really explore your emotions.

:: What pleasure are you gaining from being stuck in your old habits? Maybe it feels safe and secure to stay stuck in your ‘story’?

:: What will your life be like if you make these changes, and what will it be like if you don’t?

:: What scares you about making these changes? Maybe you’re afraid of how people might react to the ‘new’ you, or of no longer fitting in. What would be the absolute worst case scenario? Often when we’re brave enough to explore our fears in depth, we find that the monster scenarios we built up in our minds are not so scary after all.

:: Ultimately, who do you want to be? Where do you see yourself two – or five, ten – years from now? What do you want to do with your one precious life here, beautiful?

 
So tell me in the comments below, angel-face: When do you find yourself self-sabotaging? What triggers it for you? How do you deal with it? And what ‘story’ or ‘identity’ in your life are you ready to let go of? xx
New Video: Self-Sabotage (and how to deal with it)

20 Comments on Self-Sabotage (and how to deal with it)

  1. Loz
    July 17, 2014 at 8:06 am (3 years ago)

    Love this so much! Exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you beautiful xo

    Reply
    • Vegan Sparkles
      July 17, 2014 at 3:07 pm (3 years ago)

      I’m so happy it helped, Loz! Sending you oodles of love. xx

      Reply
  2. ohsowellness
    July 17, 2014 at 8:17 am (3 years ago)

    Such a great video lovely! Thank you x

    Reply
    • Vegan Sparkles
      July 17, 2014 at 3:07 pm (3 years ago)

      My absolutely pleasure, beautiful! xx

      Reply
  3. Lorraine
    July 17, 2014 at 8:37 am (3 years ago)

    Video is so great ….from your proud Mum xx

    Reply
    • Vegan Sparkles
      July 17, 2014 at 3:09 pm (3 years ago)

      haha, thank you Mumsy! Lots of big hugs coming your way! xx

      Reply
  4. Catherine
    July 17, 2014 at 8:51 am (3 years ago)

    Beautiful – very inspiring and resonates with me on so many levels. Thank you!

    Reply
    • Vegan Sparkles
      July 17, 2014 at 3:10 pm (3 years ago)

      I’m so happy to hear that, Catherine! Sending you huge love. xx

      Reply
  5. Emma
    July 17, 2014 at 11:16 am (3 years ago)

    It’s sad for me to say but my husband triggers self-sabotage for me. We work away every second week and stay in separate rooms. When I’m onsite I have no troubles sticking to my plans, but he has a heavy alcohol addiction and when we’re home together my resolve weakens by about day 5 and I slump on the couch with him and a bottle of wine (and the gross chips, nuts and other fatty, salty foods we eat when we’re on the booze).

    Generally I will do something to distract myself or leave the house around the time I know he’s going to crack a bottle, or I’ll close the study door and read the inspirational quotes on the wall or focus on studying, usually these things help.

    Every day with him is a struggle to be the person I want to be but I don’t blame him for my decisions, he has his path and struggles to face as do I. I don’t fear letting go of the person I am when I drink, I already like myself more when I don’t, it’s more of an environmental thing for me and all I can really do is keep doing my best to be a good example for him and be there to support him when he’s ready to tackle the drink himself.

    Reply
    • Vegan Sparkles
      July 17, 2014 at 3:27 pm (3 years ago)

      Situations like that can be so tough, Emma. My heart goes out to you.
      I hope in time you’ll find a way to shake things up in your environment – one that allows you to grow, while allowing your hubby to follow his own path (could you entice him with tickets/ideas/plans to do something new together, maybe? – Break the couch habit altogether & really shake things up?). Follow your heart, beautiful. xx

      Reply
  6. Eva
    July 17, 2014 at 2:18 pm (3 years ago)

    I’m in week 2 of no-sugar and I’m just waiting for the resistance to kick in; which is kind of self defeating to start with! I spend a lot of time telling my clients to meditate so I guess I should try it myself in order to break down my barriers!

    Reply
    • Vegan Sparkles
      July 17, 2014 at 3:35 pm (3 years ago)

      Absolutely, Eva! Meditation is such an incredibly transformational tool, as I’m sure you’ve seen in your clients. It can also help you to witness the resistance (if/when it rears its ugly head!) with curiosity and amusement: “ahhh, there it is!”, and rise above it rather than giving in to it. Rock on with your sugar-free stint, gorgeous! xx

      Reply
  7. Koren
    July 17, 2014 at 4:59 pm (3 years ago)

    Television series are my number one self-sabotage tool. Don’t feel like writing an article? Time for four hours of The West Wing. Received a no from an editor on a story idea? Guess I might go re-watch Game of Thrones.

    This month I’ve put myself on a complete television ban and the results have been amazing! Almost every night friends have appeared out of the woodwork for cups of tea, dinner, movie festivals, walks on the beach — and naturally the more I do, the more invites I receive. It truly has been liberating. I wonder how long I can keep this up? 🙂

    Reply
    • Vegan Sparkles
      July 19, 2014 at 5:16 pm (3 years ago)

      Oh you need to write about this, Koren! I love it!
      TV series can be such a vortex of time suckage – especially these days when we can binge-watch. I inhaled the whole ‘Orange is the New Black’ series in just a few days. eeeekkkk!! I’ve banned myself from finding a new show because they can be all too easy to ‘hide’ in, and just as you’ve discovered – life is so much better ‘out there’.
      Your TV-free summer sounds divine. xx

      Reply
  8. Cheryl Loffeld
    July 18, 2014 at 6:29 am (3 years ago)

    You’re a beautiful person – I too like to help people but would love to do it on a bigger scale, not totally sure how yet. My biggest challenge over the years has been self sabotage in the eating department (the 2nd type you mention) and have never known how to ‘fix’ it. Just went through the normal ‘self loathing’ but now feel, with your help I am equipped to deal with it. Look to where you want your future to go so you can stay on track. I must look at the video you have above on EFT. I am an always will be a work in progress (WIP) who is looking forward to each day on the journey and thanks for being part of that.

    Reply
    • Vegan Sparkles
      July 19, 2014 at 5:30 pm (3 years ago)

      Thank you so much, Cheryl, and it’s my absolute pleasure, beautiful. I’m so happy to hear that it helped. Self loathing is such an easy cycle to fall into and it only serves to keep us stuck. Yes, look towards your future to help keep you on track. EFT can be such a beautiful tool to help too. I’m honoured to have been a small part of your journey and wish you all the health and happiness in the world. xx

      Reply
  9. Nicole
    July 18, 2014 at 9:46 am (3 years ago)

    great advice. So cold in Melbourne at the moment and hard to keep on track!

    Reply
    • Vegan Sparkles
      July 19, 2014 at 5:20 pm (3 years ago)

      Oh it can be so tough to stick to our health goals in winter, I know. Stay warm, Nicole, and remember your big ‘WHY’, beautiful. xx

      Reply
  10. Ildi
    July 22, 2014 at 8:57 am (3 years ago)

    So well said Bex! Loved it! Thanks for your inspiration beautiful, just what I needed at the moment 😉 xx

    Reply
    • Vegan Sparkles
      July 22, 2014 at 12:57 pm (3 years ago)

      Oh I’m so glad it helped, Ildi! It applies to so many things, doesn’t it. Hope you are well, beautiful! xx

      Reply

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